Rupert Morris did everything, captained, catered (very nicely) and collected the money. Unfortunately this Renaissance Man buggered his knee bending down to pick up a ball and had to hand over the captaincy to Dennis, while he, Rupert, scored. There was a hushed debate about whether he or Adam is the more confused scorer, both having a problem with scoring AND talking, rather like Gerald Ford had a problem with chewing gum and farting at the same time (according to LBJ). The day started badly for some. For the opposition it started badly because they had only 7 players, and 11 is the fashionable number. Sunil had rustled up Dino and a Kiwi, Wayne, who played for them and did well. Sunil himself did the noble thing and was sub fielder for most of our innings and caught the V&A’s star batsman on the boundary. For Peter Linthwaite it started […]

Nice to be back on a lovely Spring day, everything much the same except for a new white boundary rope. The nets are to have new nets, I’m told. They’re a bit bedraggled. But not the opposition who had 8 men under 30, and one fit, lithe woman (Issy) with bottle and technique. We, on the other hand, had but one man under 30, Alex Padmore, Rupert’s godson. We would have been even more decrepit if Peter Linthwaite had elected to play, but he turned up nursing some injury, saw that Sam Asielue had brought a spare Nigerian, and elected to return home. It didn’t help that I was tactless, saying partly in jest that it was a tough call for our skipper (Martin Bowden) if he had to choose – strictly on cricketing grounds – between an effete white man of pensionable age, and a virile Nigerian. On a […]

A FEW GOOD MEN are a team born at Durham University, and good they are, and men too – they can throw and run and bend and are all under 30. In embarrassing contrast we were mostly the wrong side of 55, with Cobb nearer 70. It cannot be long now before he takes the Capt. Oates walk and disappears, muttering that he may be some time. Only Scott and Alex were what you’d call nimble in the field, with Christiaan getting an honourable mention. The decrepitude that has crept up on us means that singles become twos as batsmen twig that a fielder will take a while to stoop and return the ball underarm in the rough direction of the keeper. We need a minimum of 4 young people in the field. Otherwise we give perhaps 30 runs away needlessly. I would be failing in my duty as acting […]

THE MORNING LOOKED IFFY and an early decision was made to postpone to a 1 o’clock kick-off and forego the BBQ. I got to the ground at 12 and the pitch had dried and the sun was out. So we could have started on time. The afternoon was glorious, perfect weather for cricket, hot in the sun but with a cooling breeze. Martin was skipper, which he does both often and well. Adam enquired of Sarah the rationale behind the rotating captaincy. He thought, not unreasonably, that he had been overlooked all year because in a Hermits match he captained he had rather lost it, he found he couldn’t both bowl to his exacting standard and be tinkering with field places. I think Sarah was in broad agreement. The analogy was with Botham. You do not make your talisman, your best player, captain just because he is your best player, […]

It was a lovely day at Turville Park. Deer gambolled and sheep did what they do. Nick Emley won the toss and elected to bat, a controversial decision that proved unwise, but did not seem so at the time, particularly as some of us needed to prepare the BBQ. Nick was bowled first ball by S. Fraser, a portent of what was to come. Suva came in and walloped a four and looked in command. A nice hard cut to point seemed destined for the boundary when Robbie Lawson suddenly awoke and dived to his left and caught it. A stunning catch and it rather turned the game because Suva looked set for a ton. Adam limped in. To say he was not match fit would be like calling a stiff a bit under the weather. But you can applaud his pluck and that he stayed to see off some […]

It has been an interesting week, and for aficionados of cricket at our humble level, a not untypical one. I shall detail the timetable of events as it illustrates the absurdity and pitfalls of organising cricket matches in a north European climate. I have two family games per year, one for my brother Tony’s team who play The INVALIDS at a charming ground at Maidhurst in Sussex, and one for The V&A against The HERMITS, my brother-in-law Tim Squires’ team. With awesome incompetence these two games were organised for the same day, AUGUST 14. And as I had agreed to play in Sussex before The Hermits’ game was fixed, I felt obliged to play for my brother, but to help get a team for The Hermits’match. On Wednesday we had just three people, including Adam Jacot who is palpably unfit for sport at the highest level, or even for the […]

RICHARD WOOLHOUSE had to pull out at the last minute with a sick wife, an excuse which is acceptable to old pros like Martin Bowden [skip], who has a touch of the New Man about him – he allowed 30 mins. before luncheon to prepare his fare which was excellent I hear. Unfortunately the opposition skipper did not quite ‘get’ the traditions of village cricket; that the home side have the right to decide the type of game [but will always discuss and compromise], that whoever has fewer men at the start bats etc. Their captain insisted on 40 overs which we know to be too much [35 is top whack] as the ball is invariably lost in the undergrowth for long periods and an over can take 20 minutes. Martin had to be rather stern, which does not come naturally to him But the Pretenders were a very agreeable […]

but ADAM JACOT was absent, possibly with a ‘diplomatic’ illness. It was a little girl called Florence, playing for the Old Talbotians, who bowled Adam a few years ago. He still feels the pain. Florence must be nearly 8 now. To be bowled again would be too humiliating, even for one as composed and self-assured as Adam. But Florence was absent too. Instead they had a boy of 10. Luckily for us he did not bowl. Their bowling was a bit average, two overs were dire, so they might have used him. He batted at the end of their innings, and popped up a catch to Dennis, which our skipper claimed to have dropped on purpose. If the catch had been dollied to Tom Bird, he would have dropped it, but not on purpose. Such was the depths of his collapse of confidence. It may be unfair to single him […]

RUPERT MORRIS caught a catch. And a good one too, off Martin’s tight bowling. I would normally open with some stuff about the weather [glorious] but as news this takes second place to Rupert catching something. Not only did he catch a ball moving in the air but he also stopped moving balls along the ground. He swooped, he stooped, he threw overarm in the rough direction of the stumps. What had happened to this urbane figure, who does not usually run around like a madman, or like Sean? Kitty was there. Perhaps he wanted to impress the missus. But, unfortunately, whenever he did something heroic Kitty’s nose was in the Telegraph Magazine.Admittedly he did return to normal service when a ball passed him on the mid-wicket boundary, but it did deviate a bit. We were a respectable nine, eventually [it was Henley Regatta]. I was pleased with the numbers […]