Rupert Morris did everything, captained, catered (very nicely) and collected the money. Unfortunately this Renaissance Man buggered his knee bending down to pick up a ball and had to hand over the captaincy to Dennis, while he, Rupert, scored. There was a hushed debate about whether he or Adam is the more confused scorer, both having a problem with scoring AND talking, rather like Gerald Ford had a problem with chewing gum and farting at the same time (according to LBJ).

The day started badly for some. For the opposition it started badly because they had only 7 players, and 11 is the fashionable number. Sunil had rustled up Dino and a Kiwi, Wayne, who played for them and did well. Sunil himself did the noble thing and was sub fielder for most of our innings and caught the V&A’s star batsman on the boundary. For Peter Linthwaite it started badly with a burglary at his home in nearby Peppard in the early hours. They took his 20-year old car but could find nothing else of worth to pinch. The most valuable things in his house are a TV he watched the Coronation on, and a flush toilet installed between the wars. Of more concern was the explanation for his absence in the critical hours 8 p.m. to 1 a.m. when the burglary took place…he said he was at a Royal Wedding party but he reads the Guardian and is a violent republican so this cannot be true.

Rupert won the toss and put them in, on a dry wicket and on a lovely day. In a 35-over game they started well, despite excellent bowling from Alex Padmore and Sunil. Just as they were threatening to up the run-rate Sunil got one caught behind. Their team consisted of 3 really good batsmen, including their captain James Robinson, and a few non-players. If we could get their proper batsmen out we would restrict their score to a reachable total. Things looked iffy when catches went down. A batsman who went on to make 40 odd was dropped on 5 by Peter standing at square leg. The ball went straight into his hands. And out again. Peter couldn’t explain where his gift of incompetence comes from, but it is probably inherited.

Then things took a turn for the better. Dennis took a great catch off Christiaan at mid-wicket, with the sun in his eyes and the ball behind him, to dismiss a man who had just whacked a 6 and a 4. Then Martin bowled a couple of beautiful inswinging seamers to bowl James and another. Dennis bowled Dino attempting a reverse sweep. And finally Peter bowled two tail-enders but more significantly had their best batsman caught behind. They were all out for 154.

Sunil (17, with 2 fours) and Adam opened for us and were doing splendidly, with Adam scoring a majestic 6 over square leg, when Adam was hit on the head and came off (for 11*) a bit shaken and bleeding. After being offered first aid he decided not to go back immediately because, with his head wound, he said he should not run about. A bit rich, he has never done that.

Tom Bird went in. And destroyed the bowling. Hitting huge boundaries (10 fours, 2 sixes), predominantly over or through mid-on, almost with top-spin as if playing tennis, he managed to bisect or ignore the fielders. Their captain conceded that even putting 4 men around the mid-on boundary was useless. He was eventually out for 62. There was then a mini-collapse until Martin (27*, 5 fours) and Christiaan (13*, 3 fours) steadied the ship and saw us to a deserved victory.

A good day, and thanks to Kitty too for all her thankless, domestic duties in the kitchen. We have always prided ourselves on being an inclusive team and on Saturday we had the correct mixture of humanists, Catholics, vegetarians, drunks and bookworms, and now with Rupert and Adam the correct number of disabled persons.