Match Reports

Match Reports

11th August 2022
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V&A v Bacchus XI

Saturday 6th August saw a new opposition debut at Stonor as the V&A had the absolute pleasure of hosting the Bacchus XI. Youthful, charming, and bringing a certain glamour with them as there were a couple more X chromosomes on the pitch than the reactionaries of the V&A are accustomed to. Bacchus, as we all know, is the Roman god of agriculture and wine. Associated with drama and the theatre he is often depicted accompanied by priapic satyrs and delicate nymphs. How fitting that Lachlan was selected, and that Nick C was making his post injury come back appearance. Patrick, the Bacchus skipper, got the trowel out early stressing they really were mainly here for the wine (and nymphs) and were not a strong side. Apparently, they had recently been thrashed by a school team, although it wasn’t made clear if it was a boys school. Rob T, our fecund […]
21st July 2021

V&A v The Wine Trade XI

  We were blessed; blessed with glorious weather, blessed with a fabulous opposition and blessed with the return of CMT aka “Penfold”. Ernest Penfold (voiced by Terry Scott) is a timid, bespectacled hamster, and Danger Mouse’s reluctant assistant and sidekick. He is often mistaken for a mole; however, Brian Cosgrove has stated Penfold is supposed to be a hamster.             A hamster! Who knew? I always thought he was a mole, but it makes sense ….. the cheeks, the lack of digging. A 35 over game was agreed, the weather was set fair, and the pitch was very un-Stonor like; baked hard with the ball actually coming through fast but still an unpredictable bounce, some rearing up from a length and others shooting through ankle high. The seamers were licking their lips. Captain Constantine won the toss and, taking the advice of W G, he thought about it and then chose to bat. […]
7th September 2020

V&A vs The Unabombers

Habitually, whenever match report writing has been mentioned, I have avoided any eye contact and skulked off swiftly. V&A are match reports are witty, erudite and full of words you will usually only find in a book written by Adam Jacot; penned by arty types as a vehicle to show off their knowledge of literature and culture – not my bag. No condition is permanent however and following Saturdays game, whilst relaxing over a pint at the Golden Testicle, I was caught completely unawares and mugged by T-Bird. Oozing his abundant charm he fixed me with calculating eyes and asked me if I could write up the match report? He had already posted a curly blond, blue eyed child to cover the only exit and I was in trouble. I blurted that in Trivial Pursuit the Art & Literature cheese was always the one I was struggled to get and […]