Match Reports

Match Reports

10th September 2005


THE DAY LOOKED DODGY, weather-wise but there was no rain at 10.30 a.m. so we went. We have been lucky with this fixture in the past, snatching victory in the last over, assisted by a 12 year-old girl (Maria Bird) and an old man of 84 (Tom Bird Snr.) and – in a memorable game – tying a game off the last ball when our bowler had bowled a wide, which the umpire was about to signal, when the idiot batsman snicked it to the alert keeper (Bird, N). We lost the toss and batted in a (flexible) 35 over game. Ed Black and another almost equally good bowler opened for the Chancers and had us tied down. Rob and Sean did a fine job getting through the first overs, although it was impossible to score more than 2 an over. Even that was impressive. Rob was bowled by a […]
4th September 2005


THIS IS OUR OLDEST FIXTURE. We have seen the Hermits grow old and fat, drink having taken its toll. But they are still keen and competitive, none more so than the combustible Jerry Bevan who can be relied upon to explode in the field. He did not disappoint on Sunday. What was a little disappointing was variable umpiring which saw Rob and Will dismissed for leg before which even our dopiest umpire would have considered too far forward to assess with any accuracy. Two rather better shouts from Olly Betts when we were bowling were rejected. Nevertheless the absence of Martin and Roger was the crucial difference between the two sides; we didn’t have enough bowling. This was compounded by our dropping 5 catches and the ball invariably falling between fielders. Nevertheless I would like my penn’orth. I happen to know that Tim, my brother-in-law and the offending umpire, does […]
21st August 2005

V&A v. Nashers

A PERFECT DAY, cloudless, hot but not humid. Kites soared, deer gambolled, Bruno returned. We lost the toss. The Nashers put us in to bat (because we were then not quite a quorum, but were later 12), in a 40 over game. Adam and Rob started briskly. 9 off the first over – an Adam trademark 6 to square leg – and continued apace. Then the rate slowed a bit until umpire Bruno took a hand and gave Rob out LBW. A controversial decision. Rob thought it incontrovertibly bad, and said so. There was some debate as to whether the ball had hit the front or back foot. The wicket-keeper didn’t help Bruno’s case by commiserating with Rob. Rob asked for a simple apology and got one, sort of, which seemed to defuse the situation, and later they were seen to exchange pleasantries, sort of. The over rate was lamentable. […]
23rd July 2005


WHAT A DIFFERENCE a week makes. The previous Saturday’s V&A team of lethargic and creaking outfielders, was transformed into a brilliant unit of focused athletes who could run and bend and throw venomously, something quite alien to last week’s geriatrics. Even more importantly our fielding was punctuated by three extraordinary catches that dismissed their best batsmen, catches which rivalled Rob Noble’s recent effort at mid-wicket. Richard Cowley captained for The Pretenders and was uncharacteristically only ten minutes late (our skipper Martin Bowden, with Adam and Shaun arrived promptly at 12.23). We compromised on a 36-over game (they had wanted 40, too much for those with a drink problem and a pub to go to). They won the toss and elected to bat. Olly Betts and Andy Sharp opened the bowling and kept them down to about three an over. They had some decent batting but the ball popped up menacingly, […]
16th July 2005


A GLORIOUS DAY, a cloudless sky and wonderfully hot and dry. But in terms of our performance not quite so glorious… You correspondent (and captain) was late, which did not impress that strict disciplinarian Roger Smith. We were 10 men, pretty impressive considering all the youth element were playing in Cambridge (bastards). But one more goodish player would have made a difference, both in the field and batting. Because we were 9 in the morning, before Linthwaite’s arrival from needling (literally) his patients, we agreed to bat first. All went well, we were scoring briskly, and reached 90 or so for two. Adam Jacot, who opened, and Olly H-P had managed nearly 6 an over, Adam eventually being out for a sparkling 45 and Olly for an elegant 20 odd. Some of the Joggers bowling was pretty tame and runs were there to be had in abundance. But temptation proved […]
25th June 2005

V&A v. London Erratics

THE LONDON ERRATICS lived up to their name. Last Wednesday theypronounced that they were a mite short of the eleven players that traditionalists regard as the conventional number for a cricket team. They were five. Any chance of getting a few more by Saturday, we asked? No. They were too busy, too old and too injured, that was their maximum. V&A stalwarts pitched in and found them some decent cricketers and in the end we played nine against nine. It worked rather well apparently (your correspondent was ill and off games) despite initial fears that the day was going to be a bit Michael Mouse. Among The Erratics regulars was a ten-year-old boy with all the natural reticence and bashfulness of Shane Warne. Skipper Bowden elected to bat. Roger Smith was back from Oz and had lost nothing of his zest or eye, despite rumours of ill-discipline down under. He […]
18th June 2005

V&A v. Chelsea Arts Club

PERHAPS IT WAS APPROPRIATE THAT ON JUNE 18, the 190th anniversary of Waterloo, the V&A played the Frenchified bohemians of the Chelsea Arts Club. Or perhaps not. For a quick poll of our opponents confirmed that – of their eleven – only two were or had been members of the Arts Club, five had never been near the place and two had never heard of it. One had never heard of Chelsea, and one wondered why the cricket club was named after President Clinton’s daughter. But we may, in the past, have had the odd player unfamiliar with the V&A’s collections or where it is…. Some things are reassuringly familiar. Such as the sound of David Maddocks, their captain, deciding the type of game we will play, the number of overs each bowler may bowl, the menu for luncheon etc. But Rob Noble, our skipper, compromised gently and Maddocks agreed […]
11th June 2005


MATCH REPORT V&A v. The CATCHITEERS Stonor, Saturday June 11, 2005 A TRICKY WEEK on the telephone raising a side but we were a respectable 10 on the day, and would have been 11 if a tosser called Gareth from Tooting Bec had got out of bed. A sunny morning saw us batting in a 35-over game. Skipper Tom Bird sent in Uncle Nicky and Cobbo’s son Jamie as openers. Although they put on 50 or so for the first wicket (Jamie out controversially LBW to father Patrick, who was playing for the opposition), slow scoring put pressure on later batsmen. The trouble was two-fold. They had a very quick and accurate swing bowler who was bowling on off stump or just outside, and was devilishly difficult to get away (he picked up 6 wickets in his second spell). At the other end Patrick pinned down his son who was […]
4th June 2005


THE WEATHER GIRL got it wrong on the morning news –‘sunny spells and light cloud’ proved wide of the mark. When we got there ‘pissing down’ would have been spot on. But it cleared and we got a full day’s cricket. In a 20-overs-from-5.30 game the NT won the toss and elected to bat. Lacking Adam and Roger (the latter on romantic leave) we were not perhaps as penetrative as we can be, but Olly Bett, Alex Singh (1 wkt), Trick (1 wkt), James Nixey (2 wkts) and skipper Martin Bowden persevered, with nothing given from the pitch or conditions. Big Mike (six foot seven) and David Lumsden, the NT’s openers, both scored 50s. A few half-chances were missed, James almost got a hat-trick, there was some fine fielding and throwing from the deep from the yoof element, and some geriatric stuff from the oldies, with Tony Bird spectacularly unimpressive. […]
22nd May 2005

V&A v. The Nashers

THE STORY OF SUNDAY’S GAME is simply told. Roger Smith was captain and elected to field in a 35 over match, chasing runs having paid off in the first two games. A glance in their dressing room showed they had a long tail. It is always comforting to see a posse of gentlemen of advanced years or girth. Of course apparent senility and decrepitude can be deceptive. Look at Andy Fraser. Some gnarled old professionals never lose the wristy cut. Tony Fisher, Stonor’s groundsman since Mafeking, can turn a ball both ways, and with more venom than even our own Mooro, whose clever donkey drop dismissed their eleventh man last week. Fisher was spinning before Mooro was conceived (Raffles Hotel, Singapore, 1965). They had a South African who made 130 before being bowled leg stump by Tom Bird. We missed him twice – two half-chances, a caught and bowled (Olly […]