Nice to be back on a lovely Spring day, everything much the same except for a new white boundary rope. The nets are to have new nets, I’m told. They’re a bit bedraggled.

But not the opposition who had 8 men under 30, and one fit, lithe woman (Issy) with bottle and technique. We, on the other hand, had but one man under 30, Alex Padmore, Rupert’s godson. We would have been even more decrepit if Peter Linthwaite had elected to play, but he turned up nursing some injury, saw that Sam Asielue had brought a spare Nigerian, and elected to return home. It didn’t help that I was tactless, saying partly in jest that it was a tough call for our skipper (Martin Bowden) if he had to choose – strictly on cricketing grounds – between an effete white man of pensionable age, and a virile Nigerian.

On a green pitch and long outfield (mower had bust) Martin lost the toss and we batted. Sunil and Adam opened and reached 43 before – just after sweeping a majestic 6 – Adam was bowled (somewhat predictably) by an identical ball. Rush of blood situation. But he had scored briskly: 28 in 25 minutes. [One should mention that both openers were assisted by numerous dropped catches, not all of them tricky.] We then got a bit bogged down and although there were splendid boundaries from Sunil, Miles Martin, Dennis, Sam and Martin Bowden, it took Christiaan (with one straight 6 and several 4s) to ensure that we reached a respectable(ish) 147 in our 35 overs, with a much needed 30 being hit off the last 3 overs.

Lunch was a joint effort between the Caterer of the Year, Rupert Morris, and Bird N. It was entirely adequate and once again Sarah Jenkins position as official caterer is threatened.

Their innings started slowly, due to timid batting but also excellent and accurate bowling. We used 6 bowlers I think – Sam, Martin, Dennis, Alex, Miles and Christiaan – and each was tricky to get away. They reached 20 or so after 8 overs. At the fall of the first wicket (bowled by Alex) Issy came in and although she anchored one end she does need a partner to score at the other, which – despite flurries – did not happen and they lagged behind the run rate. But this was nothing a few boundaries wouldn’t solve. At the end of one over that Issy faced Dennis thought it would be wise to allow her a single so she could face the next over. ‘Shouldn’t we give her one!?’ he shouted. ‘Wait until the game’s over’ she replied. Dennis does have an unfortunate turn of phrase.

Wickets fell. Christiaan caught Issy at mid-wicket, ungallant but competent. Miles bowled a sound batsman and our rather meagre total now appeared to be eluding them. Perhaps the turning point came when they needed about 40 to win at 8 an over. A big butch chap came in and walloped Sam for 6 and a couple of 4s. He tried again and hit a skier to deep mid-on where Theo and Alex converged. Theo caught the catch. That was more or less it, in the end they fell 7 short.

An agreeable day with agreeable people, who are ever helpful around the pavilion. I have to add that the exuberance of our Nigerian contingent got on the opposition’s tits a bit. But if loud it was good-natured and ribald.

An unlikely victory, no-one thought our target big enough, and their skipper, the actor Graham Seed, was understandably frustrated at some of his batsmen not going for it. Incidentally, Graham has just been written out of The Archers (he was Nigel Pargetter) after 27 years. He fell off a roof. This left Dennis unmoved – he starts shaking with horror at the mere sound of the theme tune.

Our Treasurer, Rupert Morris, has surveyed our kit and decided to buy new bats, to replace broken and useless ones. We will thus have no excuse to blame our tools. Martin Bowden’s kit was eaten by mice this winter. Ours wasn’t. Mice know good equipment when they see it.