Match Reports
Match Reports
5th May 2021
One of my earliest memories of playing in a cricket match was my school’s Parents v School game. The master in charge of cricket was a rotund German with a gammy leg, who for reasons I cannot being to imagine had taken up cricket as a way of blending in with the locals. He was also somewhat forthright in his views, so when my mother mentioned how much I was enjoying playing, he replied by describing me as the most ill-coordinated boy he had encountered and a lost cause as far as cricket was concerned. Usually the School, after season of nets and matches, beat the less practiced Parents quite easily, but on this occasion a recent addition to the Parent ranks happened a regular for Worcestershire II’s. He hit sixes at will and when he tired of that, offered a series of towering catches which a succession of hapless schoolboys […]
6th September 2019
We returned to the usual one game weekend after the excesses of the week before, where our usual Saturday fixture was followed by a fixture against Stonor village on Sunday. Rather bizarrely, having hitherto beaten all comers, the V&A were skittled by a combination of wily bowling and wallyish batting and villagers knocked the runs of with relative ease. Nobody cared a great deal because whilst Martin Bowden and Norman Reid were putting together a plucky last wicket stand, a certain Ben Stokes was writing himself into the history books with a last wicket stand of his own. As for this match, Andy Taylor won the toss on a bright morning and chose to bat, sending in new boys, Nick Derewlany and Joe Tetlow to open proceedings. They got off to a sprightly start, in spite of tidy bowling and skipped, though a mixture of elegant drives and lusty pulls, to 92 at about […]
10th August 2019
A windy day with changeable weather greeted the players as they rolled up at Stonor Park on Saturday morning to kick off the first V&A weekend double header: This was to be a forty over match, a departure from our usual format, and the V&A fielded an XI which the scorer noted as replete with 17 total middle name initials between them. Your correspondent is uncertain of the significance of this, but on his reporting debut will present the facts and not question them. Though the poet and philosopher N M H Constantine noted “grudge” as format of match in the scorebook, our opposition – the Battersea Bandits – are actually a very pleasant bunch, albeit a team we seldom beat. Team morale and prospects were however buoyed by the inclusion of evergreen veteran D J De Caires in the side, back from Barbados for a few games that coincide with […]
10th July 2019
Cricket has offered literature a surprising amount of material over the years. Jeeves was a Warwickshire medium pace bowler before lending his name to P.G.Wodehouse’s gentleman’s personal gentleman. Sherlock Holmes is supposedly a portmanteau of Nottinghamshire and England wicketkeeper, Mordecai Sherwin and teammate Francis Shacklock, and Sherlock’s brother Mycroft named after the Derbyshire fast bowler, William Mycroft. James Bond was an ornithologist, but the name of his arch-enemy, Blofeld, which Ian Fleming lifted from his club’s register, was the father of the commentator Henry Blofeld. Both Wodehouse and Conan Doyle played cricket for the Authors XI in its original incarnation, long before it was brought out of hibernation in its current guise to play against poncey teams like the V&A. The fixture is now in its fifth year and despite two rain affected matches, has been enjoyed by all concerned. The Authors are a convivial bunch who, unlike the V&A, actually do […]
8th May 2019
It was bloody cold. At one point, just before an early tea, with the wind whistling down the Stonor valley alternately carrying with it driving rain or hail, I felt entirely ill equipped as umpire with a mere two jumpers, a body warmer and an umpire’s coat for protection. If we are to continue to play in these conditions an umpiring sou’wester outfit shall be required. The rain had been infrequent, but but the howling gale was a constant. It meant that one either bowled with the wind or directly into it. The latter option was not much fun, as the wind acts not only as an impediment to bowling, but also as an aid to the batsman who sought to smite the ball in the direction from whence it came. I found myself in danger of developing a cricked neck from watching the ball sail back over my head […]
12th September 2018
The final scheduled fixture of the V&A season (there are now a couple of impromptu additional fixtures planned) has traditionally been against A Few Good Men. Sadly, on this occasion they should have been renamed Too Few Good Men because, despite the best efforts of their captain, Alistair Metcalfe, they could muster a mere eight players when eleven is the traditional number. The V&A were also a few regulars short, but such is our current strength in depth that his proved to be a welcome development allowing some of the more occasional members of the V&A squad. Nick Emley, captain for this match, was concerned about the lack of batting and consequently implemented the impromptu opening partnership of Jonkers and Grantham with the instructions to ‘get your heads down’. Observing my batting in the nets, Lachlan suggested that I might not be psychologically suited opening the batting. He may have […]
13th June 2018
The day began, as every day should, with an anecdote from the rich and varied life of Nicky Bird. His wife had been taken ill and whisked into hospital accompanied by Nicky, the dutiful husband. When the doctor came round he if he might be excused in order to take a snifter. Nicky is a resourceful fellow and, aware that the NHS does not stretch to a fully functioning bar had brought his own. He was just pouring himself a finger or two of whisky, when he was accosted by a member of staff. Their exchange reads rather like something from Holby City would if they had co-opted P.G.Wodehouse as a script writer. “What are you drinking?” said the nurse. “Whisky, what does it look like,” answered Bird. “You can’t drink that in here, this is a hospital.” “Why ever not, it is the cocktail hour afterall?” “We have recovering alcoholics, it […]
19th August 2017
It was a gap in our fixture list which caused Lachlan to volunteer to raise an opposition with the help of Nick Constatine. The exercise was not entirely fruitful and on the eve of the match they had mustered but half a dozen.
14th July 2017
Looking back at old match reports, I noticed that the Jesmond Jaguars were, until 2008 or so, known as the Jesmond Joggers. I don’t know if they felt that changing their name would make the team sound more butch or menacing, or whether the team, made up of Newcastle University graduates, feared that as middle age spread came upon them, their original epithet might not be taken with the irony it was intended. They are however, still young and for the most part can run and throw in a way many of the V&A faithful can barely remember. They were however only nine in number, when eleven is expected. Midway through the week a plot was hatched to commandeer our captain, Chris Mounsey-Thear, originally a Jaguar (or Jogger), but now most definitely a V&A man. Their plan was foiled and instead we lent them a fielder. CMT neither batted nor […]
22nd June 2017
It had been a day of blistering weather and it was a sensible decision to play a forty over game.