Match Reports
Match Reports
14th September 2024
Refreshers 152-6. Pitlarge 2-27, Jacot 2-15, Hayley 1-21 V&A 136 all out. Arnold 59, Bird 47. Richard Jory 5-23 On Saturday the 14th a hand-picked and carefully selected band of brothers (enhanced at the last moment by most of captain Bird’s extended family) took on The Refreshers, apparently a bunch of lawyers who clearly knew a thing or two about the rules (or should one say ‘laws’) of cricket, comprising 7 men and 4 women – who proved to be their secret weapon if not with the bat, then certainly with the ball taking two if not three of the first few wickets when it came to their turn to show how things should be done. One of the Birds seemed to win the toss and so the mighty V&A took to the field with as they say the sun shining brightly over the Stonor valley and the deer wandering […]
25th August 2024
Tom Bird said arrive to start play at 1pm sharp, which was either a mistake or a lie to get Jonkers to turn up on time. Embarrassing ourselves with poor timekeeping against our Stonor CC hosts was the least of our worries, though. A ramshackle X1 at the best of times, our bank holiday Sunday outfit was a mixture of those who had never played cricket together and those who looked like they had never played cricket. That said, we started well, with Jasper sporting a large brown Surrey hat, leaning his full weight into the new ball and walking ferociously between the wickets as the ball continuously threatened the moist boundary. His partner, Rory, took kindly to some early (or late) buffet, making up for the lack of customery Saturday lunch, plonking the ball into the parked cars. He was out going for one too many, bringing Ed Shepherdson […]
17th August 2024
SIMON BARNES, late of The Times and doyen of sports writers, used to play for the V&A and was a good hater. His heroes were Homer Simpson (‘I don’t know much about art but I know what I hate’) and W.C. Fields (‘I like children – fried’). Apart from split infinitives he also hated the languid school of cricketer, the Plum Warners and Douglas Jardines(‘MCC at its worst’), the sort who loaf in cravats and wear a striped tie as a belt. I once accused Simon of being a bit chippy. ‘Jesus was a chippy,’ he replied which I thought a non-sequitur. Christiaan Jonkers, who I revere, is the Plum Warner de nos jours and commanded our team in mufti, deigning to change into trad whites only when taking the field. Apparently, he wears a tie as a belt to keep his trousers up. Good reason. But he lacks a cravat, […]
10th August 2024
This was a new fixture for the teams. Penn Street CC were put into bat and the V&A took the field. The weather was somewhat sultry, the sky was cloudy whilst the breeze was constant and kind. A lovelier day for cricket in a lovelier spot I could not imagine. Excellent bowling by Adam Knight and Chris Mounsey-Thear slowed the scoring and between them they took 5 of the six wickets. Nick Constantine, Adam Jacot and Enzo Nicoli bowled well and economically but all were unlucky as dropped catches threatened to be the highest scorer. Not that excellent catches weren’t taken by Nick Constantine and Tom Bird. Jasper Arnold like all good wicketkeepers did his job tidily and organised his slips with authority. Dominic Scott almost stole the show with a wonderful bit of fielding and shy at the stumps. It should be noted that the combined talents of the […]
6th July 2024
The forecast was poor. England were playing in the European Championships at 5pm. When Lachlan pulled out in mid week, due to a bad back (which he didn’t want anyone to know about), I thought “here we go”. But actually, very few V&A players take any interest in football. In fact, Christiaan despises it. “Ah, we’re suffering a pincer movement on the cricket owing to bad weather and the footy, are we?” he guffawed in the changing rooms. We were going to have to play. The pitch squelched underfoot and there were puddles on the square, but the beauty of the hallowed turf at Stonor is it dries fucking quickly. A tactical early lunch was called and an afternoon T25 was agreed with Alistair Metcalfe (skipper of A Few Good Men). Lunch was an assortment of beef, salami, sausage rolls, hard boiled eggs, potato salad, tomato salad, but no booze […]
29th June 2024
Facial hair tells us a lot about a man. And a lot about cricketers. There is the lazy stubble of the ultra-cool. Though, admittedly, this can double as the lazy stubble of the increasingly moribund. There is of course the villainous “moustachio” worn as part of a wider assembly of beard, twirled occasionally when batsmen take liberties. A look favoured perhaps by second hand booksellers. One of the earliest documents of the usage of moustaches can be traced back to the Iron Age Celts. Graham Gooch took on the look. W.G Grace got carried away sadly and I think we can all agree that his great rhododendron of a beard was a bit de trop. Douglas Jardine, Jack Russell…we acknowledge the effort, but the originality feels strained. And Jack Russell is an awful painter. But then there is the “Woke Wayne Larkins”. The perfect moustache. It involves a nod to […]
22nd June 2024
Bacchus XI are, by now, regulars at Stonor. It is the cricket team for former members of the Oxford University Wine Society. The team’s name, purpose and location suggests frenzied rites and undergraduate revelry of a now unfashionable kind. Such associations do not, however, spring immediately to mind on shaking hands at the start of the day with Patrick Hudson, the team’s articulate and self-deprecating captain, a writer for “The Tablet”. The discussion that followed was a diplomatic assessment as to how we might maximise the cricket and enjoyment of the day to follow for all concerned. The chosen mechanism was a modified time game – 80 overs for the day with a maximum of 42 overs for V&A as the team batting first, with the option to declare at any time. Bacchus hitherto have not fielded strong teams at Stonor. However, they more than compensate with the exuberance and […]
8th June 2024
Given the fact that the V&A has, finally, entered the 21st Century and begun using a WhatsApp ‘Noticeboard’ for weekly selection (the metrics of which I had to explain to Jacot, Jonkers and Bird Snr.) you might be forgiven for thinking that we are in danger of becoming a ‘modern’ cricket club. You would be entirely mistaken. Jonkers still wears flannels and uses his silk tie as a cummerbund, like some regimental pre-partition sahib. He also fields in round, tortoise-shell spectacles; he assures me that this is purely for aesthetic reasons. One of our number was partially responsible for The Hundred, but he issued an apology and has been forgiven. Nicky Bird’s humour roots him firmly in the 1890s. We aren’t modern because we do still, albeit rarely, play that rarest form of cricket: the timed game. Do people understand it? Not anymore. Does that matter? Not unless you’re […]
24th September 2021
V&A PLAYERS: A. JACOT, J. TETLOW, A. JONES, C. MOUNSEY-THEAR, C. JONKERS [SKIP], R. TAYLOR, OWEN GRUNDY, OTTO GRUNDY, V. GRANTHAM Nicky was away at the Duxford Air Show, commemorating the Battle of Britain, so we had no 12th man, or tea lady. In fact, we only had nine players, and significantly less when you take fundamentals like cricketing ability into account. The opposition were the Refreshers CC. They are a team of barristers (and some paralegals, as it transpired). “Paralegal” sounds exciting, but it is not. Court sitting hours in England and Wales are civilised: a 10:30 start, one hour for lunch, and a 4:30 finish. The Refreshers were keen to emulate that schedule on Saturday, arriving promptly, whereas the V&A are a ramshackle bunch of booksellers, potters and drunks. Not quorate at midday, we agreed to bat first. Dr Grantham and Tetlow obliged, trudging to the middle and scoring at a turgid three […]
14th September 2021
V&A PLAYERS: Rob Taylor (Skip), Adam Jacot, Nicky Bird, Matt Cade, Norman Reid, Nick Constantine, Ali Cheema. Tom P-G, Nick P-G, Marc Terblanche, Dario Simpson The week building up to the game against the Battersea Badgers was one of the most stressful seen at the V&A. With the majority of the battled hardened cricketing regulars not available, a search for good players soon turned into a search for able players, which soon turned into a search for “all appendages a bonus”. Emails beginning with “Hello, how are you?” soon turned into “Can you play/know anybody that can?” But as my dear granny used to say, “when times are tough, you gather no moss” (she enjoyed her Sherry). It was Wednesday evening and a game taking place was looking unlikely. This was when a hero in the form of Adam Jacot arose. Persistence, a large address book and a description of the […]