Match Reports



Match Reports

7th August 2020
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V&A vs. Legends XI

  We of the V&A like the Legends XI very much. In recent seasons we’ve erred, somewhat uncharitably, on the stronger side of team selection and made a bit of a mess of their bowling attack. Not so this year! It was a cracking game, full of intrigue, champagne moments, suicidal run-outs, collapses, sixes. It had everything and was greatly supported by the families of both sides, which always adds to the occasion. The V&A won the toss, and invited the opposition to take the field. In the pavilion, whilst Messrs. Tetlow (2) and Turpie (3) got into their work at the top of the inning, discussions were had on the etymology of ‘Stonor’. Many among us pronounce it ‘stoner‘. Naturally, this has nothing to do with Emley and Bowden’s personal habits – it just is what it is. But it has been discovered that plenty pronounce it ‘stonnoor‘, including […]
26th July 2020
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V&A vs. Turville Park CC

This fixture was played at Turville Park Cricket Club The match v Turville Park was declared ‘on’ (around 9 am) by skipper Nick Derewlany, despite a dodgy forecast, because Turville had said we should play and etiquette thus demanded our presence. Adam Jacot, for one, looked at the sky, harumphed, reluctantly bolted his muesli, patted Emma and ‘sped’ down in his jalopy. He wished he hadn’t. Tom Bird was catching salmon on the Tweed, Jonkers was busy reading a book, Andy Jones was probably in the recovery position. Lucky them. I now eschew strong drink but not out of choice. I do not recommend it. Memory is better; I am not quite so repetitive but these things are marginal. Turville Park is where we used to play 40 years ago before moving to Stonor, for the better view and the cheaper pitch (only £25 then). There was a chestnut tree […]
22nd July 2020
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V&A vs. The Authors XI

  After some murmurings in the week about The Cricketers Club of London having gone cold, it transpired by Friday their fixture secretary was, in fact, dead. Over in W11, our very own match manager and captain, Lachlan Nieboer, had been neutered by some virtual auditioning in his bedsit. Fortunately, the Authors had also lost their game that Saturday and following a few late evening sweet nothings to his beloved biographer, Charlie Campbell, the cats were herded to a sunny Stonor for 11:30. On arrival, and in the bohemian absence of any coinage, we demanded to bat first and give our talented line-up a chance of putting on a show. Emley duly obliged. Having completed 8 balls in the nets and a cigarette, he was snaffled behind –  out for a royal duck. That brought Derewlany to the crease. Overcompensating for something with his new willow, he joined opener Marsh […]
20th July 2020
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Awards Report, 2019 Season

V&A AWARDS FOR 2019 SEASON    V&A CRICKETER OF THE YEAR LACHLAN NIEBOER – top all-rounder, a titan with bat and ball, rivals the original Brycreem Boy, Denis Compton. Valued for his match-winning prowess, Olympia and acting ability on an off the pitch; his runs and wickets won at least three matches. Always a welcome sight on match days when spotted at 09.30 frying his Full English on the pavilion porch   BATSMAN OF THE YEAR ANDY TAYLOR – many commanding innings of responsibility (unlike his brother), power and style. He scored more than 400 runs and averaged around 40. Much missed when he buggered off to Canada. Mr Reliable, as batsman, sub keeper, fielder, bowler and in the pub   INNINGS OF THE YEAR ROB TAYLOR – a maiden ton of 101* in an hour, a rampant run-fest to rival Morgan or Milburn. At his worst his batting is a brief […]
16th July 2020
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V&A v Jesmond Jaguars

Cricket appears to be the sacrificial lamb of sport in the modern age. Preference is given to footer, above all else, and the whole ‘vector of disease’ nonsense has done real damage to the chances of Boris Johnson retaining his status as Vice-President of the club. I bet there’s a lot more VD among footer players, and even politicians, than cricketers – we keep ourselves nice, even in the grips of a global pandemic. Don’t believe me? Just look at how manicured Mr. Jonkers’ beard is. He also wears a blazer on match day. It was bloody good to be back and even better to do it against one of our more cherished opposition XI’s. The V&A have a long and occasionally feisty history with the Jags (last season’s fixture was one of the greats!) and they’re always up for it. Or at least seven of them were. At the […]
7th May 2020
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V&A Cricket Club in 2020

Because of the pandemic, all matches for May have been cancelled. We do not yet know the situation for the rest of the season, but Oxfordshire Cricket, with whom we are affiliated, are keeping us posted – you can go on their website for updates. The V&A Tour this year is also cancelled. In the meantime here is a quiz question (a starter for ten, if you like). Who are these cricketers?
9th September 2019
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V&A v The Times

Saturday, 7th September saw the residents of the quiet village of Stonor awake earlier than normal to the noise of a 1950’s Stother and Pitt Roller. P Goodliffe had arrived at the break of dawn and sat astride the machine with the sole purpose of ensuring the wicket was the flattest this side of Chennai 2016. This was greatly appreciated, although a few of the V&A stalwarts had to quickly rethink their standard “that one kept low” reasoning while walking back to the pavilion with looks of disbelief on their faces. Cups of tea finished, boundaries placed, and the majority of the V&A arrived, discussions moved on to the opposition. While a lovely bunch of chaps, the Times team of last year weren’t the strongest among the wandering troupes on the V&A fixture list. This allowed captain L. Nieboer, pencil in hand, the freedom to move around the batting line […]
6th September 2019
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V&A v Refreshers CC

We returned to the usual one game weekend after the excesses of the week before, where our usual Saturday fixture was followed by a fixture against Stonor village on Sunday.  Rather bizarrely, having hitherto beaten all comers, the V&A were skittled by a combination of wily bowling and wallyish batting and villagers knocked the runs of with relative ease.  Nobody cared a great deal because whilst Martin Bowden and Norman Reid were putting together a plucky last wicket stand, a certain Ben Stokes was writing himself into the history books with a last wicket stand of his own. As for this match, Andy Taylor won the toss on a bright morning and chose to bat, sending in new boys, Nick Derewlany and Joe Tetlow to open proceedings. They got off to a sprightly start, in spite of tidy bowling and skipped, though a mixture of elegant drives and lusty pulls, to 92 at about […]
28th August 2019
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V&A v Stonor CC

The V&A moved to Stonor from Turville Park about 35 years ago. The Stonor ‘pavilion’ was then a shack, with walls but not even a window. Only a flap on hinges. No water. The lavatory was a bush. Today is luxury in comparison. We played Stonor village when Tony Fisher, Grumpy Groundsman emeritus, graced their team and bowled classy offies. We have all passed a lot of water since. The V&A team that played Stonor in 1989 n’existe plus, apart from Martin and me; they are dead, or living in Eastbourne which is much the same. One or two were banged up. A young all-rounder called Adam Jacot joined just afterwards, and elevated the tone both on and off the field with his virility and erudition. The erudition remains. I did not actually play against Stonor this year, but they also serve who only umpire and scoff tea. Stonor are […]
27th August 2019
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V&A v The Butlers XI

Tom Bird was skip in a 35 over match v THE BUTLERS XI, the team from Radio 4. A most agreeable bunch. Extremely voluble in the field, competing in decibels with the Craft Fair opposite. The Fair is a lesson in how to make hideous things in raffia. The Butlers batted first in the morning heat. They are young (their keeper excepted) and agile. I fielded, and was not. I missed a tricky chance in the slips that I would have palmed 40 years ago. Lachlan is quicker than ever nowadays and soon bowled their openers. Enter Leo Townsend, a man with a fabulous eye. He smote the ball far into the Craft Fair (our track was practically on the road), right into the melée of cars and people by the gate. We are insured, but our legal position might be iffy if we did nothing to address the problem […]