V&A XI: C. Kulasingam (c), A. Darling, D. Pitlarge, I. Brown, O. Brown, J. Waddington,
J. Arnold (wk), L. Nieboer, L. Reddy, N. Constantine, T. Sachchithanantham
If you are in the habit of reading these match reports regularly, you would be forgiven for thinking that there is an echo… we played Turville Park CC, at their manor, only a few weekends ago. As copy has not been filed for that particular match (I hope your ears are burning, Mr. Arnold…) I won’t spoil the surprise, but they gave us a good old thrashing. If you are in the habit of reading these match reports regularly you might begin to understand why we don’t travel. Masochists that we are, we prefer to toil away with our uneven bounce. I can still recall the rapturous glint in Tom Bird’s eyes as he told me that even he had managed to middle a cover drive to the boundary at Turville Park, with the minimum of effort. The chance of doing that at Stonor without putting your back out would be a fine thing. Trust me, I’ve done it.
We tend not to lick our wounds for too long after a loss, but it was a noticeably different XI that lined up on Saturday. A second game for Ian Brown, a debut for his brother Ollie Brown and a return to Stonor for Lakki and Sachin, the former having (I think) broken my record for the fastest 50 for The V&A, with his tape-ball-inspired slapping heroics. Having bowled so well the previous week, Nieboer and Kulasingam were primed and ready to have a crack at a Turville batting order that have all scored plenty of runs this season. The wicket looked, frankly, like an afterthought. Despite valiant efforts with dustpan and brush to clear the prolific wormcasts, it looked tricky. I’d have been better off with a scythe.
Eschewing the immortal cricketing maxim: ‘win the toss, and bat’, Kulasingam decided that we would bowl first. It was to be a timed game (another masterstroke of captaincy, it turned out), so no limits on overs for the bowling unit. Given the result a few weeks ago, it was a gamble. I thought we might be in for a long day in the field. We took to the field in blustery conditions, with jumpers on to ward off the grey, scudding clouds. I thought longingly of handwarmers.
Then the sun came out.
Nieboer and Kulasingam opened for The V&A, taking aim at James Hunt (30) and Smith (3). Nicky has known James since he was in short trousers, and it is his herd of Wagyu that can often be seen gambolling in the fields behind the pavilion. He was once described by the late Ross Ashcroft as a ‘chiseller’, but as Nicky pointed out over lunch, this could not be further from the truth. I have watched him score many a run against us over the years, so it was with more than a little surprise that timing appeared hard from the off. Nieboer bowled as quickly as he has all summer, finding pace and bounce that eludes almost everyone else at Stonor. In tandem, Kulasingam bowled with his customary accuracy and guile. When the first wicket fell to Nieboer in the seventh over the score was 20-1.
Charlie Hunt (10), erstwhile of The V&A, has grown about three feet since he played with us last. In fact, I barely recognised him until he played a sumptuous straight drive for four. It was a joy to watch from first slip. It was also very promising: to drive at Stonor is to livedangerously indeed. And so it proved, when Nieboer dismissed him, caught on the drive, some overs later. 34-2 from 13.
On another day, Kulasingam would have taken a handful of wickets in his eight overs. It was a long opening spell that set the tone for the rest of the innings. Lakki replaced him from the Turville end, and was immediately dispatched to the boundary off successive deliveries. Were the shackles coming loose? Thankfully not.
With lunch beckoning, Nieboer had Montgomery caught off the penultimate ball of his eleventh over on the trot. This feat, in itself, is remarkable. Nieboer likes to bowl up the hill, for reasons known only to himself. His pace was unchanged. He bowled bouncers, somehow. At times it looked like he would take a wicket every ball. He conceded just thirteen runs in eleven overs. There is probably a V&A record in there somewhere as well.
We had had the better of the morning session: Turville had toiled hard for their runs but three key players had been dismissed cheaply.
54-3 off 20.5 at lunch. The Orechiette beckoned.
September calls for heartier fare on the catering front. In April, Shepherd’s Pie is the thing, but after successive heatwaves it is nice to feel comfortable eating hot food again in the middle of the day. Lizzi Constantine, having slaved away over various pots and pans, dished up a fabulous Orechiette con Cime di Rapa e Salsiccia. In keeping with the Italian theme, David Pitlarge contributed two lovely bottles from his seemingly endless cellar of Sudtirolean gems. Radio Bird waxed lyrical about the shared history of Turville & Stonor: we started out as a club playing up at Turville Park. Why we moved remains something of a mystery to me: I suspect it’s because Nicky liked the view of the Manor and parkland. The deer are rather fetching, after all.
Lunch (and alcohol) tends to have a marked effect when play is resumed. Batting tends to become more aggressive. Fielding often becomes more arduous. Quick singles are usually accompanied by groans and heavy breathing. In fact, Turville added fourteen for the fourth wicket before James Hunt was finally bowled by Lakki. Ian Brown bowled Henry (6), marking his first wicket at Stonor Park. When Lakki had Grant (0) caught sharply at slip by Constantine, 85-6 looked to be well below par.
White (28) and Shillington (23) provided something of a rearguard action. White, in particular, unfurled so many scything cut shots that at one point Ian Brown was bowling with two slips, and three of us in the gully. Alas, no sprawling catches went to hand and White was eventually bowled instead. Constantine cleaned up Shillington before Ollie Brown took two wickets in his second, and last, over to mop up the tail.
Turville Park CC were all out for a modest 133.
I had us as favourites, it must be said. At 19-2 off seven overs that suddenly looked a little complacent. At 27-3, it looked very complacent indeed! However, with a tail of Constantine, Nieboer and Kulasingam at 9, 10, 11, we batted rather deep.In fact, I need not have worried. Darling (32) played a measured innings, whilst Ollie Baker (64) put on an absolute clinic. For a man that hasn’t played competitive cricket in half a decade, he batted as if he were in mid-season form. A half century in double quick time took the V&A from 27-3 to 102-3 in just nine overs. He was eventually caught behind, trying to reverse paddle the ball to the boundary. You have to have balls of solid rock to play a shot like that on debut. He clearly does.
Ian Brown (28) strode to the crease to replace his younger brother. He had a look at two balls, before clattering the ball to the boundary. His twelve balls included three sixes (onto the road), two fours, two singles and five dot balls. Arnold (4*) clipped the ball away through mid-wicket to score the winning runs.
V&A CC finished 136-5 from 21 overs.
A convincing rout. A comeback win. You might even be forgiven for calling it a thrashing. We repaired to The Golden Ball for pints and pleasantries. Congratulations to Turville on their wonderful season. We look forward to doing battle again in 2027.
Performances of note:
L. Nieboer: 11-4-13-3
O. Brown: 64
