As there is no match report to post let me use this space to update fellow professionals on a couple of things. A heads up we marketing people call it.

Several players wondered about a brief V&A TOUR in 2015. Three games. The Cotswolds was proposed as being a) not too far b) pretty. Perhaps Swinbrook, Blenheim, Bibury – all have lovely grounds. Two nights in a hotel or pub. What do you think? We used to stay away in Cornwall, Gestingthorpe (Essex) and Urchfont (Wilts). I’m afraid there was bad behaviour which may explain why the invitations dried up but Andy Fraser and Simon Foster do not play these days, and Roger Smith is in Oz, so we might be welcome again. However, the Cotswolds are more convenient. Someone suggested a French tour. This would cost more of course and entail an extra night. The event might be enlivened by a short lecture on wine (and a tasting) by Tom Bird, a long lecture by me on the French Resistance, another on first editions by Jonkers, de Caires on Abstract Expressionism, Bowden on sheep farming, Adam on etymology, Sarah Jenkins on Good Housekeeping…there is a wealth of erudition.

Lachlan and Ross could host a quiz night on Movies. A straw poll at Stonor the other day (me and Emley I think) voted The Girl on a Motorcycle (1968) with Marianne Faithfull as the worst film ever. Your vote?

Mention of Ross Ashcroft brings me to Rupert Morris and his trenchant observations about my wicket-keeping style in his Match Report last week. He contrasted my demeanour behind the stumps with the more robust approach of Ross. The V&A is a broad church and there would be room for both Dominic Cork AND David Gower, in their pomp. In a long chat with Gower at Lords recently he repeated his mantra that it took a lot of effort to look effortless. Which is akin to what F.E. Smith said about Churchill, that he had devoted the best years of his life to preparing his impromptu speeches. [F.E. also noted that Winston was easily satisfied with the best, which also suits me fine]. Like Gower, my insouciant manner and agility is actually the result of diet (macrobiotic alfalfa, wholemeal prunes) and exercise (I always walk to the off licence). Rupert claimed that unlike Ross, who supports the bowler with frenetic appealing, I am distracted by musing on sex and war. But if you can no longer practice your hobbies musing is all that is left.