THE HERMITS fixture is possibly our oldest, going back to 1976 perhaps [the archivist is uncertain, the scorebooks seemed to have been nicked by trophy hunters]. Many of the original Hermits, named after a pub in North London, are still playing –Tim Squires [my brother-in-law], Terry Blake [skipper] and Jerry ‘Chucker’ Bevan were all in the field on Sunday and only a little greyer and fatter. Jerry is as combative as ever, Tim may have lost mobility but makes up for any technical deficiencies with keenness, and Terry still looks like a proper cricketer, which he once was, having played for MCC Youth while Head Boy of Radley. But I don’t think he would have dropped that skier twenty years ago.Terry’s son, aged 13, now plays, Rob Kir’s and Graham Dixie’s boys – both original Hermits – also played on Sunday, and Sam Kir batted magnificently. Unfortunately the V&A sperm bank produces girls – Linthwaite, Bird N., Fraser, de Caires have all fathered girls, although my daughter Maria has played and helped win a match against the Jaguars some years ago.

On a lovely sunny day Tom Bird, our captain, lost the toss in a 35-overs match and, for some reason, we were put in to bat. Nixey and Morris, the sort of chaps who will open if you ask them, swished a few balls but both succumbed to a straight one from the unnecessarily tall Will, who is a very good bowler indeed. They went neither forward nor back. Enter Chris Mounsey-Thear, a first-rate cricketer, and Robbie Lawson, that most elegant of batsmen, a joy to watch. They moved the rate along at 5 or so an over, with a boundary an over until Robbie was, somewhat typically, caught off a lazy shot, having lost concentration. H e seems to get out for 20 or 30 when he looks set. Dennis de Caires came in and the fluent scoring continued, off good bowling too.

At lunch we were about 100 for 3, I think. Sarah was away – AGAIN – so Bird N. produced the usual fare. And did tea. Sarah has made only one appearance this year and if she wants to keep her job as tea lady her attendance record will need improving.Estelle stepped in brilliantly to fill the void and threatens Sarah’s position.

After lunch some good bowling by Sam and Will rather bogged us down, but these things are relative and we were still scoring at 5 an over or so. In trying to push the score along Dennis got stuck, and Chris slowed down, it is perverse how a sense of urgency can lead to mistimed shots and becalm the run rate. In this middle period both batsmen score 8 consecutive singles, partly due to Terry dispersing his field. A few dropped catches helped our cause, Tim missing a hardish shot at square leg, and Terry dropping a rather simple skier at mid-off he would have snapped up in his prime. Dennis eventually went for 39, bowled by Sam. Adam came in, whacked a boundary and departed bowled, then Fraser came in, hit a beautiful couple of straight drives and departed run-out, his runner having misjudged a call [Andy is a gentleman and allows other to run for him]. Chistiaan Jonkers walloped a ball or two at the end and was out caught but it was no matter because Chris had recovered his scoring bonanza and his last three shots of the innings went for 16. By the close of the innings he had made 125 out of a total of 226! An almost chanceless performance. He is the most modest of players, and you would not know whether he had made 0 or 100.

They started their innings rather slowly and these things can have later repercussions. I don’t have the scorebook to hand but I think we opened with Dennis and Adam, both of whom bowled very well indeed. Terry looked in form until an outswinger from Adam caught his edge and the wicketkeeper [me, returning form injury] snapped up the half chance. As Terry said afterwards, the statistic ‘Caught Bird, bowled Jacot’is not one he would have preferred. Tom, who had a very good day in the field both as captain and fielder, caught a brilliant catch – a lofted skier that flew above the kites. Adam later missed a slightly simpler chance having called ‘Me!’ with gusto and confidence. Tom got one of the best run-outs in years, aiming at a single stump from 10 yards. Robbie’s pacey spin bowling deserved better.

But the three critical moments in their innings owed something to luck. At around 50 for 3 or so Sam hit the most beautiful straight drive which clipped the bowler and hit the stumps at the other end, running out their batsman who was backing up. This was their star man, on whom hopes of victory – and revenge for last year and so many years – were pinned. A bitter blow for the Hermits. Sam had scored a mighty 40, with huge pulls and drives, when he played on off a ball from Chris [who bowled as well as he batted]. Bummer. But the Hermits were 150 for 4 or 5 and, with the giant Will smacking the ball everywhere in front of the wicket [20 off one over from Pete Linthwaite], the target looked eminently reachable. Tom now took Linthwaite off and put Christiaan on, who had bowled well if erratically from the other end. Will faced the first ball having scored 70, mostly in boundaries. Possibly mindful of the 8 or 9 an over still needed for victory, Will advanced down the pitch but mistimed his drive and scooped the ball into Christiaan’s diving hands. And that was rather that. Particularly after Chistiaan bowled Tim with his third ball, a straight one, the sort Tim doesn’t like. Their innings petered out, with a final forlorn flourish from Jerry Bevan scoring 4 off the last ball, to finish 50 odd runs behind.

A splendid day with some good controversial moments – Andy declining to give 6 LBW appeals, mostly rather optimistic [and getting traduced for his rejections], some slightly naughty ‘sledging’, Peter looking particularly dopey on the boundary when heseemed to spot a ball only after it had passed him on its way for 4…for some reason Andy threw a ball at my knee while I lay on the ground, which hurt rather, but he made amends by buying a pint in the pub. I shall cherish the memory [the pint, not the knee injury].

Our next game is on Saturday, September 5, up at Turville Heath, against Ed Black’s Jacobite Chancers. They are young and butch so we will need an injection of youth. I heard that the Hermits thought that their young men were going to do the business, because Sam and Will play proper cricket for proper teams, as does that bloke that got run out unluckily. But cricket can be fickle, youth and ability do not always triumph over age and infirmity, wily old pros like Dennis and Adam may be slower but they have added guile to their armoury. Adam in particular. At one point he avoided a simple catch at long on, to Dennis’s apparent disgust, because ‘wickets are less important than keeping down the runs’ and the batsman was scoring slowly. Valid point but it made a good excuse for lack of bottle, although I would not say so to his face.