V&A v. The Old Taboltians
12th July 2009
V&A v. The Hermits
16th August 2009
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V&A v. JESMOND JAGUARS

THE JESMOND JAGUARS are a team formed while they were all at Newcastle University. They seems to have done rather well, a collection of lawyers, accountants and other professionals, and their captain – the excellent and generous Adam Chataway – is organising lottery funding for the 2012 Olympics. They are almost perfect opposition – they give us their best player when we are short and never whinge at crap umpiring decisions. They help with the tables without being asked to.Incidently, Adam Chataway arrived early and went for a 15 mile run. I don’t think this was why Adam Jacot was late.

But they have two fatal flaws…they are rather good at cricket, and they are all under 30. They can run, they can catch, they can throw. They can all throw to the top of the stumps from the longest boundary. Amazing.

Martin Bowden lost the toss in a 35 over game and the Jaguars elected to field, having looked at the damp pitch which would improve later. Luckily we had Chris Mounsey-Thear, who has played with us before but is a Jaguar, who opened and scored a chanceless 57 against some threatening bowling. Without him we would have struggled to make it a game. He was out, as was Olly, caught deep on cow corner, by a man put there for just that shot, a man who could catch. Olly Bett scored one huge boundary but his tally of 11 singles shows how the bowling rather stifled him; being slightly behind a decent run rate other batsmen got themselves out chasing runs against straight balls…Adam hit a fine 4 and then missed one on the wicket, Martin departed for 2 to a brilliant catch, Dennis de Caires did rather better, hitting successive straight drives for 4 before another fine catch ended his innings [27]. The tail, Cherrington and Tomlinson, wagged with a last wicket partnership of 20 or so, but our total of 147 seemed inadequate.

Lunch was provided by Lucinda and was delectable, as was tea [scones and whipped cream and other dainty things]. For luncheon she produced mini-Yorkshire puds with perfect roast beef, superb quiches and salads, including a veggie quiche for Pete Linthwaite who failed to turn up.Bastard. He was at a World Music festival in Wiltshire, a poor excuse.

The Jaguars faced Chris and Dennis for the first 8 overs and both were in the wickets. In the absence of Bird N. Tomlinson bravely – and athletically – took the gloves and after Dennis’s bowling stint they swapped over. Chris fired a beauty at leg stump to dismiss perhaps their best batsman [but they bat all the way down], having seduced him with three previous tempters outside off stump. There were two rather iffy LBWs apparently, but as Bowden said –‘we’ll take them’. After the umpire pondered a moment over one (ludicrous) appeal a brief discussion followed in the slips about the etiquette of asking a batsman to return when the umpire’s decision is clearly laughable. Dennis felt you cannot insult both umpire and bowler by calling the batsman back. Perhaps.
They were 27 or so for 3 and at that moment another couple of wickets would have made things interesting. Bowden was bowling well, and we had overs to come from Cherrington and Tomlinson, and the remainder of Chris’s and Dennis’s. A brief moment of hope appeared with a stunning catch by Olly Bett at square leg – diving majestically to his right and plucking the ball from behind his shoulder. But a couple of possible run-outs were missed and lofted shots fell wide of fielders; and with Adam batting imperiously they did not look in mortal danger. And so it proved as they passed our total with 2 or 3 overs to spare.

They were kind enough to lend us good fielders to sub, which improved our performance in the field. It was also helped by Dennis’s daughter Odile who ran and fielded like a pro.

There was a discussion about our problem in the last two games in raising a full team. Strangely, other teams are having the same difficulty. It is partly down to Aussies staying in Oz, but in our case to the loss of our Sri Lankan connection, to our yoof element having babies, to regulars like Roger Smith relocating. There is also old age and injury, which took me, Andy and Robert out of the equation. Maybe the early start does not suit some – like Simon Foster – who lives far far away in Battersea. But we have been oversubscribed for some fixtures, and are for some forthcoming ones.

There was though, I understand, a feeling that playing with 9 or 10 was preferable to playing with 11 if it included certain w*nkers. But we are an inclusive team and mere incompetence is no bar to playing, nor is old age or lack of bottle. Otherwise Bruno and Robert would never get a game.