THE V&A ARCHIVIST will have problems deciphering the scorebook, when it comes to writing the V&A CC history. To call it a buggers muddle would be an insult to buggers and muddles. It seems to have been written by a drunk, which Richard Adamson is surely not. Anyway, it was so confused that at the end of our innings we could only hazard a guess at the overs we had faced, and the brilliant 51 that Dennis scored could have been 61. But the scrawl in the scorebook remains the official record of our last match of the 2011 season, and shows that we batted first in a 35 over game, that Adam was out for 5 after walloping a 4 to the square leg boundary, that Sunil and Nick Emley (skip) struggled to get the ball off the square, with Sunil the more successful. When a batsman like Nick takes time to get going, he can of course point to his calm wisdom in playing himself in, if he scores a ton of runs later like Jake did last week. Unfortunately, just as he was accelerating and had scored two 4s, he was bowled for 26. But he had stayed for 20 overs and had taken the shine off the ball.

But at lunch (thank you Sarah, you are marvellous) we were plodding along at less than 3 an over and something dramatic was needed. It arrived in the athletic person of Dennis de Caires who upped the rate, with Sunil now swishing the bat with success, to 4 and then 5 an over, with majestic 4s and tremendous 6s (4), none of which were witnessed by his missus whose nose was in her embroidery. When Sunil was out for 42, Martin came in and with Dennis advanced the rate to nearly 6 an over, before Dennis was bowled with three balls left, for 51 invaluable runs (off 25 balls!). While Nick had anchored the innings with his limpet determination (off good opening bowling), Dennis (and Martin with 27*) had made a game of it. We reached 208 when Martin hit a 4 off the last ball.

But, as Dennis said, although our total had seemed unreachable ten overs earlier, it was still unsafe, and 240 should have been possible given the iffiness of their change bowlers. I should add that Alan Metcalfe and his FEW GOOD MEN play just our sort of cricket, good natured and generous.

It had rained heavily during lunch, and later, and for a time we were running to and from the pavilion. Once again Adam sprinted towards the pavilion when he felt a drop on his pate, something he does not do when fielding. Someone said that he does not seem so agile these days, but frankly agility was never his strongpoint. Nor speed. Or catching or throwing. His strength is bowling some crafty balls like the one that dismissed a decent opener, a perfectly flighted ball deliberately aimed outside leg stump to entice the batsman to play on. Their other opener was keeping the run rate at 6 an over or more with a succession of boundaries until he snicked a very hard chance off Dennis to first slip, where Nick Emley caught it high near his chin. There was a moment of light relief following a suggestion that a sweeper might be posted on the cover boundary (Dennis was cut for successive 4s). Nick Emley declared that it was impossible to set a field to CRAP BOWLING. For some reason this did not go down too well with Dennis, but it amused Martin.

We were as usual a mixed bag in the field. We dropped catches, some tricky like those dropped by Sunil and Tony Bloom (whose birthday it was, thanks for the cake), some rather straightforward like the one dropped by Nick Pritchard-Gordon at mid-on.

Nick P-G had seemed to make amends by catching a brilliant half chance at point. He expected an onrush of congratulation. But he had not heard the umpire shout NO BALL! We dropped their top scorer Davies four times. One chance ballooned to Richard at mid-on. The problem was not the sun in his eyes but his trousers – they appeared to fall down at the moment of potential impact with the ball. But just when they seemed to be coasting to our total two good catches changed everything. First the keeper managed to hold a fast edged ball off Nick P-G, diving to his right; then Sunil held a remarkable caught and bowled. We can sometimes look strangely competent but it does not last. Nick P-G bowled two batsmen in successive overs, Dennis bowled another, Nick P-G lured their no. 8 into holing out to Ross at cover, a good confident catch.

With threes over to go tension mounted and suddenly there were captains aplenty with suggestions and exhortations. They ran quick singles, overthrows mounted. Nick Emley eventually put sweepers on every boundary, which slowed them somewhat until they needed 14 off the last over, bowled by Dennis. But their skipper Al, who is built like an elegant privy, was facing. He had already whacked 35 runs in 20 balls. The first ball was hit hard to cover for a possible single but Al preferred to retain strike. He was right because he hit the next ball for 4 over mid-off. The third ball he hit to mid-on where Nick P-G was fielding or, in this case, misfielding. They ran one. On seeing the misfield ran another. But Nick threw hard and accurately and their no. 10 was run out. Three balls to go, Al facing and 9 to win. A six and a four would do it and Al was the man who could. But he hit a single off the fourth ball, leaving the new man on strike with 8 to win. Facing the penultimate ball he managed only a single and that was that. We had won yet another game in the last over. Splendid stuff.

If we had lost I might have mentioned that Dennis had an over left at the end, that Nick Emley had fucked up. He bravely bowled himself in the penultimate over (and got away with it), having also miscalculated the overs Martin had bowled. Nick used to be a teacher but possibly of media studies or something, certainly not of maths. However, we won. Therefore Nick is an exemplary captain whose every bowling and fielding change was inspired and brought victory. His calculated opening stand was tactical batting at its best.

So the season ends with a delightful day and thrilling finish, like so many of our games this year. If Stonor read this we acknowledge with thanks their preparation of good pitches, and their help yesterday in getting the electricity to work so tea could be provided (upgraded from the usual utilitarian fare Sarah provided by the addition of birthday cake). Thanks to Jane and Estelle for their labours as skivvies. Thanks above all to Sarah Jenkins for her lunches. Once again she threatened to resign but I suspect this was a prompt for us to grovel, which I did.

The AGM this year will be in November. When we were younger these were violent, drunken affairs which usually ended with someone being offended by Andy Fraser and retiring hurt. Lately they have become rather staid, as Andy slipped into
bourgeois respectability. I hope Andy can up his game and do something like he did to that grandfather clock in 1998.