ONE OF THOSE TRICKY MORNINGS when the forecast is iffy and Martin rings from near the ground to say a storm is heading for the pitch. But we decided to go for it and off to Morrisons I went at 8 to get the BBQ ingredients, following a last minute call to Andy Fraser to bring him out of retirement to make our eleventh man.

When I got to the ground, with Ernie the chef, all was looking pretty and the sun was out. We had a lovely day, most of it in sunshine, only marred by a single squall.

We batted first in a 35 over game skippered by Martin. Things went badly. Adam was out caught behind, after some pantomime juggling by their keeper David Odgers, for 4 just after smiting a mighty boundary. Christiaan was bowled for 6 by Buckland, their lofty Old Etonian all rounder, the first time Christiaan has been out this year. Koch, a stocky Aussie, whacked a 6 and was then bowled by young Jimmy Darton, who used to play for us when he was in his early teens. Tony Bloom departed to a disputed caught behind. Dennis had a moment of madness, lifted his head and was bowled. But then Tom Bird did what he does so well. He eschewed the finer points of technique, forward defensives, late glances, cover drives, all that purist stuff in favour of a burly blow to leg, with plenty of right hand. He has an eye. He has timing. And he can read the game, knows when we need to accelerate and accelerate we did.

He was partnered briefly by Martin, who was given out LBW by a Hermit umpire. The ball hit his pad it is true, but he was so far down the pitch that he reacted with polite incredulity. The umpire, a very modest fellow, had a lot to be modest about when it came to umpiring. Unfortunately, like so many of us, he was unfamiliar with the minutiae of the laws of cricket, such as where to stand after an over at the stumps and what constitutes a no ball or wide. I also get confused about this business of taking guard and what two legs means. It was greatly to his credit that he offered to help out even though fuzzy about some finer points of umpiring. Later on I made a facetious comment to Terry Blake about this inexperienced adjudicator and Terry said it was bit rich coming from a man who had been run out by a mile and not given out by Adam Jacot. Well, if Jacot erred it would have through perversity or ill temper, not incompetence.

After Martin, Andy walked in with his MCC sweater, and did what HE does well. He stroked the ball elegantly to all points of the ground until, distressed by lunch being postponed, he was bowled for a classical 25. Sunil came in to join Tom and made a valuable 22 before being caught. Tom was out for 35, bowled by their ringer Sanjay, who luckily turned out to less fearsome then the Hermits had hoped. There was a brief flurry by Linthwaite and Bird N but we were all out in the 34th over for 137. On a benign pitch and with short boundaries this was not enough.

The BBQ, having finally been made to work with the location of some widget, was entirely adequate. I once went to a BBQ that started on time, but this was not it.

The Hermits are a team of big hitters who, if they get going, can destroy you. David Odgers looked to be doing just that when he was bowled by a beauty from Christiaan. Terry was bowled by an unplayable ball from Dennis, Sanjay the ringer was bowled by Sunil, Richmond trapped LBW by Adam, controversially, and they were 60 or so for 5. A glimmer of hope for us. But then the big man Buckland launched an attack, and what hitting! Enormous sixes and fours. One, however, appeared to be skied towards the eager hands of Tony Bloom on the mid off boundary. He watched it like a hawk…until it plopped harmlessly at his feet. Whether he was blinded by the sun, misjudged the flight or needed to preserve his hands for a piano sonata that evening was unclear.

Buckland appeared to be winning the match. But then came the turning point. Sunil bowled a straight one which Buckland hit lowish and very hard. Sunil dived to his right and caught it. Catch of the season? Their star man was out. Yet they were within the run rate and had Euan Ramsay walloping the ball. Bowden came on. And promptly bowled Ramsay. He then had John Crace caught by our aged keeper, leaping to his right, simulating the action of a proper wicketkeeper. Jimmy Darton looked a real player but departed to a really splendid caught and bowled by Martin.

Things looked bleakish for the Hermits and when Tim Squires was run out by a superb throw from our skipper, things looked bleak indeed. That three catches were dropped off Peter Linthwaite seemed immaterial. With 25 or so runs to win the last pair might have done it in singles but Dennis came on and lured their last man into a smack to mid on where Bowden pounced for the catch.

An unlikely victory. Down to three crucial catches, the batting of Tom, Andy and Sunil, and no wally bowling.

The Hermits game is fun to win but more fun to play. A jolly bunch of writers, journalists, conservators, sports managers, environmental architects and agronomists. I asked one of them how they did it, how they morphed from druggies and bums to successful professionals. Hard work and moderation in all things he said. Oh dear. What a pity that you can only gain an advantage over your fellow man by such extreme measures.