V&A PLAYERS:   R Morris (Skip), A Jacot, L Jacot, M Bowden, D De Caries, T PG, R Ashcroft, L Nieboer, V Grantham, A Wayland                                                     

After a glorious weekend a week earlier, it was back to thermal underwear for the old codgers of the V&A who turned out to brave the northerly wind and the youthful vigour of Andy Taylor’s XI on 14 May.

There was an eerie silence in the pavilion with Radio Bird temporarily off air. We had been told that our founder and spiritual leader was celebrating his 40^th wedding anniversary with his wife, in Venice. No one really believed this, especially since the only person who claims to have seen Nicky’s mythical spouse is Martin Bowden, a man of notoriously fanciful imagination.

Back in the real world, the two captains strolled out to toss a coin – an unnecessary ritual since Andy Taylor was determined to bowl, while my senior professionals had been urging me to bat first.

Nick Emley and I set out to see the shine off the ball, and scorer Adam Jacot (who had once again mislaid his razor, Nicky will be distressed to hear) was barely roused from his slumbers until I missed a straight one and departed for three, scored off four and a half overs. It was another five overs before the limpet-like Emley ran himself out, for an identical score, by which time Ross had also been bowled for 11. Not quite the sparkling start we had been hoping for.

Adam was chuntering away at the lack of progress, but his frustration was nothing to that of his nephew Louis, who pulled a short ball into the hands of deep mid-wicket and departed angrily kicking his gloves along the turf all the way to the pavilion.

Fortunately the big-hitting due of de Caires and Nieboer were now at the wicket, and by lunchtime, things were looking a little healthier for the V&A – although Andy Taylor was becoming rather agitated at the late appearance of lunch, and suspected that the catering team’s failure to master the oven’s eccentricities was a ruse to increase the hunger and fractiousness of his teammates. If it was a ruse, it worked rather well, as the second-string bowling proved much less threatening, and Nieboer and de Caires began to make merry.

Lunch, of course, was a highlight, with Megan’s magnificent pasta bake with mince and aubergine proving so restorative that after lunch one magnificent blow from Lachlan actually landed on the pavilion roof – a feat that would have won him a barrel of beer if only we had persuaded Brakspears to continue their sponsorship.

The V&A innings closed at 166 for 8 off 35 overs, which looked a reasonable score after our early struggles. Lachlan top-scored with a splendid 63, while the bowling honours for the opposition were shared between Sethi, who took 2-17 from his seven overs, and Chatterton 2-19 from six. Tom P-G bowled tidily to finish with 0-25 from six overs.

When the Taylor XI batted, Lachlan spread-eagled the stumps of Andy Taylor with the final ball of his first over – “best ball ever”, according to Andy. Three overs later, Dennis claimed their No 3 batsman courtesy of a brilliant diving catch at cover by Sunil. When the big-hitting Sethi played all round one of Sunil’s wobblers a few overs later, the Taylor XI were three down for not many, and looking shaky. But Jones and Chatterton steadied their innings, and the odds were moving in the visitors’ favour when the wily Bowden, making a welcome return to action from a rib injury, induced the previously immaculate Chatterton to swipe across a straight ball.

At tea – delicious cakes with exotic ingredients like rosewater – it was anyone’s game. After tea, Bill Taylor biffed a couple of fours to swing the match in their favour, then Dennis took a couple of wickets and it swung our way again. Then an unlikely hero emerged for the Taylor XI as young Green, whose left-arm bowling had been erratic and expensive, proved far more effective batting right-handed. He survived a confident lbw appeal to make an undefeated 22 and steer the visitors home by two wickets in the 34^th over.

Captain Morris had missed a catch earlier, and failed to use Lachlan’s full complement of overs, so he was clearly the chief scapegoat for our defeat. But it was a close and well-fought game.

There was also an exciting whiff of scandal. Normally, Octavia Ashcroft reserves her tent in front of the pavilion for her and her parents, but on this occasion her eyes lit upon matinee idol Lachlan Nieboer, and she invited him in – more than once! Lachlan clearly returned her affections and there was much horseplay on the boundary edge. He then bought her a drink in the pub afterwards, and she shared her sweetcorn with him. The gossip columnists had all the evidence they needed.

Lachlan and Octavia are clearly now an item, and Octavia’s indulgent parents don’t seem to mind. Nicky Bird will be desperately jealous.