VAvA-Few-Good-Men-2015
V&A v. A Few Good Men
12th September 2015
V&A v. Tom Bird’s Stag Team
30th April 2016
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V&A v. GT’s

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V&A PLAYERS: C Jonkers [skip], Tom BirdA Taylor, R Taylor, Louis Jacot, Adam Jacot, Lachlan Nieboer , Chris Mounsey-Thear, Rupert Morris, Dennis de Caires, Ross Ashcroft12th Man N.Bird 

There is, about the start of The Cricket Season, a quite tangible sense of excitement: anticipation of flannel clad heroics to be performed over the coming months. It is a sense, amplified by the fresh smell and rising sap of spring, which I have been aware of from the earliest days of my cricketing youth.  Cricket is essentially a bucolic game which, although it has its headquarters in London and is played throughout the world, owes its origins to the South Downs and its soul to the English countryside.  There can be few better representations of this than the cricket ground at Stonor, which occupies an elevated site to one side of the ancient Assendon valley, overlooking the Stonor Park estate with a view of rolling patchwork farmland down the valley.

It was this scene which greeted us as we arrived on a bright but decidedly chill morning.  Well, most of us.  As always there where some laggers and you don’t get more laggier than Adam Jacot, Lachlan Nieboer and Denis DeCaires, each looking a little more disreputable than entirely necessary as they explained away their tardiness with the well worn excuse of there being other road users on the motorway.

One of the quaint peculiarities of V&A games is that the cricket often plays second fiddle to the rest of the day, but it is the reason we where all there, so one feels obliged to mention it in passing.  I had made a bad start to the day by losing the toss and we were quickly put into bat on a traditional April Stonor pudding.  Tight bowling meant runs where scarce, but watchful batting, from the brothers Taylor and Ross Ashcroft saw off the opening bowling for just the loss of Rupert Morris, who had played round a straight one early on.  At lunch, with the score on 93-2 of 21 overs, things where looking rosy. 

Lunch was prepared by the saintly Megan Ashcroft who, in between trying to keep up with her adorable daughter, Octavia, had rustled up some chili and baked potatoes with assorted salads and condiments.  Octavia has now developed a fair turn of pace; a good example of humans adapting to their surroundings in order to survive.  Last year, when she was less mobile, she was felled by a stray cricket ball, as a result of some Taylor tomfoolery.  The conversation at lunch ranged from the Fleming family’s country seat in Nettlebed to why so many celebrities had died in recent times (yet still leaving a significant over supply).  Nicky Bird started droning on about old films and I woke up to find a confused Lachlan asking whether Sue Ryder wasn’t a Tennis commentator. 

I had eyed with some concern the abandon with which Andy Taylor was putting away the excellent lunchtime vittles.  Such concern was well founded as he spooned his first ball after lunch and was caught.  Never mind, thought I, as Chris Mounsey-Thear shuffled purposefully to the crease, but before long he was shuffling back to the pavilion, quickly followed by Andy Taylor, Tom Bird, DeCaires and Nieboer, all making the V&A’s apparently impenetrable batting line up look like a possession of rabbits.  It was left to the alliterative tail of Jacot, Jacot and Jonkers to bat out the overs to take the score to 147.  Destroyer in chief had been, as is so often the way, one of our own.  Sunil, who moonlights for the GT’s and whose bowling is looks so innocuous, was not brought on until the 22nd  over, but finished with 5-22.

It was thought that 150 on this pitch would be about par, so the game was evenly poised, but the V&A’s bowling had strength and depth, so I was confident.  Lachlan, who took a wicket in his first over but became peeved with the cross batted swipes of the other opener, and Dennis bowled tidily.  Louis Jacot nipped a couple of wickets, as did Mounsey-Thear, the pick of the V&A bowlers with conceding just 12 runs from his seven overs.  However, it became clear at the engine room of the GTs’ batting lay lower down the order.  Newcomer Benoit relied mainly on two shots: the forward defensive and the lofted drive.  But these drives where so crisp and powerful they invariably landed in nearby fields, until he holed out to long off.  Miles Martin had ominously eased his first ball for four and looked in confident touch, whilst the new batsman, known only as Kash, eschewed any caution seemingly intent on hitting every ball into the long grass. 

I can only assume he has never been bowled at by a man in a cravat before, as he seemed completely discombobulated by my gentle inswingers, tamely patting the ball back to the bowler until he missed a straight one and was, adjudged lbw.  The remainder of the GTs fell in a heap, mainly in a single Rob Taylor over.  95 all out and, in the end, a comfortable win for the V&A.  It had been a game free of notable incident, which is not to be encouraged, but this will doubtless change when we get Nick Emley back.  To look on the bright side, April usually sees the first few games cancelled either by rain or an over protective groundsman.  Here, the weather had been fine (given a sufficient quantity of sweaters), the opposition charming, and the food excellent.  All in all, a most promising start to the season.